Lets see, where to begin??
Towards the end of the pregnancy I had the usual
increase in BH contractions etc. But they changed on
Sat. night (the 6th) and I started having some
sporadic crampy contractions thrown in there. They
increased in intensity (though not frequency, they
were VERY sporadic) over the next few days. On the
evening of the 9th (Tues.) they were still very
sporadic and even though I could talk through them I
had to stop walking if one came. I knew that this
could go on for days but I still made sure to have
everything set up and ready for the birth, it was just
something I HAD to do. Around 10 pm. that night I
noticed a bit of brown on the tissue when I wiped. I
was still in a bit of denial thinking it could be
several days still. But I called my sis in GA to let
her know (she was 8 hrs away). I wanted to write in
my journal before bed and write a letter to baby and
update my friends on my mailing lists so I ended up
staying at the computer writing till 2am. (pretty
typical of me). Before bed I noticed a bit of red
blood (definite bloody show) so I called my sis again
to update her. She decided to wait till morning and
check back with me.
I had a hard time falling asleep as the contractions
seemed to be coming more often. I did manage to get
about 2 hrs of sleep but it seems that I remember
every contraction that I felt while sleeping. As I
was slowly waking during a contraction I felt
something that made my eyes pop wide opened!! I don't
know if baby moved or something but it felt like
something slamming into my cervix and it hurt!! As I
got up I felt something dripping so I ran to the
bathroom. There were a few drops of pink liquid and
when I wiped a big glob of bright red blood. It was
then that I knew for sure that today was the day!!
It was 5 am and I called my sis to tell her that she
should leave NOW (I think she ended up going back to
sleep or something cause she didn't leave till 7:30).
I spent the next hour or so in the dark living room
sitting on the birth ball watching Threes Company. I
tried to rest some more in the recliner but was just
too uncomfortable. I then decided to eat a bowl of
cereal cause I knew I wouldn't be in the mood to eat
later. The contractions were often but still didn't
seem regular. I am not sure how far apart they were as
am not really one to time them. But I was
concentrating through them etc.
Wanting some company, I woke Charlie up at 6:30
telling him I was in labor and to turn up the temp. on
the hot water heater. Then I called the MW at around
7. I was in a good mood as I usually am in labor,
talking and laughing etc. As labor gets harder I do
get more serious but I always try to keep some sense
of humor. I talked to her for about 30 min. and she
timed contractions while I was on the phone. I think
they were about 4-5 min. apart and some were 30 sec.
others were 90 sec. I told her I would leave it up to
her whether or not she wanted to come. She decided
she wanted to come cause all she would be doing at
home was think about me. She called her assistant to
come too since she was 2 hrs away. I then called
everyone else to tell them I was in labor and for
those who were coming they could go ahead and come
whenever they wanted. I also had Charlie call his mom
who had just left for work, to come be with Xian. The
contractions seemed to pick up some and I was still
having lots of bright red show.
After I got off the phone (around 7:30)I took a
shower, shaved, and washed my hair. I was having to
stop and focus on the contractions when they came. I
found great comfort in grabbing the towel bar (which
was high, about shoulder height) and holding it while
squatting, rocking and swaying. The contractions were
strong but I still would not call them painful. I
also took this time to read over some scriptures I had
printed up that night.
Xian was up too, and he was so tired (cause he woke up
early) that he just wanted me to hold him. I held him
when I could but when a contraction hit I needed him
gone cause I couldn't concentrate with him crying for
me. He perked up some when the MW got there, he loves
company. My sister (who is pg and planning a HB) and
her son (7 mo. older than Xian) came shortly after
that and he was pretty excited to see them too.
Charlie's mom came soon after (she was the main person
coming to watch him) and I didn't worry about him at
all after that.
The MW had arrived at a bit after 8am (shortly before
everyone else). The contractions were pretty strong
and regular then. She set her things up and I dried
my hair (partially) and put on my contacts and some
make-up between contractions. Charlie was finishing
blowing up the pool and covering the carpet. I don't
remember times very well but it was now probably
around 9 am. and by this time everyone was there, my
mom, sister and her son and my MIL and FIL. My 2
sisters coming from GA ended up missing the birth by
about an hour or so.
I finished doing all of "my things" and then went into
the bedroom to labor. The MW checked heart tones, all
was well. She wanted to get the baby's position but
as I tried to lay on the bed I just couldn't, it was
too uncomfortable. I labored standing much of the
time, holding on to the dresser, or bending over the
bed so that I could rest in between, I think the lack
of sleep was catching up with me. At one point I
started feeling nauseous. That was the worst!! I
hate feeling nauseous and I never did during Xian's
birth. The assistant arrived. She had come from 2
hrs away and had gotten lost. She was assisting my MW
but was actually a more experienced MW herself.
Anyway, the nausea came and went till I was fed up
with it and prayed that it would go away. After that
it did and never came back.
Through out most of the labor it was mostly me and the
2 MW's in the room with my sister and Charlie coming
in from time to time to watch or just check on things.
I think the 3 of us had a good thing going. The MW's
would occasionally suggest positions but I in no way
felt obligated to do what they said. I would also at
times ask they their advice or opinions on things but
still did not feel obligated to do them. There was
good give and take between us all that didn't
undermine my ability to listen to my instincts and
trust my body. That is the way I feel it should be.
I labored in various positions but my favorite was to
stand and hold on to something and move during
contractions. I also peed regularly during and
between them. I just let it go on the chux pad on the
floor. The MW said she had never seen anyone pee so
well :-). But I wanted to make sure I was releasing
all my muscles and holding nothing in. So I ended up
peeing consistently. I was not shy about it just
doing what had to be done.
I think it was around 11 am when the hardest
contractions started. I think it was 11 because I
remember hearing Xian dancing and singing to Dora the
Explorer in the living room. I started vocalizing
with oohs and wow's and of course the MW's said "good,
good we want more of those" and I was like "no, no we
don't" and laughed. Before that they were very
intense and required complete concentration on my part
but I didn't consider them to be painful. They felt
like strong cramps like someone pulling apart my
cervix. But these later ones were actually
accompanied by some pain and some of them felt a bit
"pushy". Instead of being in my lower abdomen there
was shooting pain at the peak that radiated down my
back and thighs. I remember having the same type of
contractions during transition with Xian's birth but
they were one on top of another. I asked the MW's
when would be a good time to get in the pool but they
said since I was not having internals it was really
hard to tell if I had progressed enough. I then
thought "why am I even asking them, this is my deal"
and told them that if I had many more contractions
like that last hard one I was getting in regardless.
They laughed and said "sure". After a few more I got
in the pool. Some of these contractions were short
and some were long. Some were stronger than others.
But they were not one on top of the other like during
transition. In fact I never experienced this type of
transition. And at no point was the pain overwhelming
or anything. Though anyone who has been through
natural childbirth will attest to the fact that what
you are experiencing is extremely intense!! I felt
that I was doing well with them but as usual I felt
"on the verge" like I could loose it at any moment
during the peaks and I just tried to "ride the wave".
And it didn't help that Piper was wiggling during the
contractions either. That was so annoying and I kept
getting on to her and telling her to "be still"!!
(jokingly of course, it was nice to know that she was
still a kickin). I did a pretty good job of staying
relaxed during the contractions. I would lift my head
and breathe keeping my face, neck and body as relaxed
as possible. When they got harder I kept quoting
scripture in my mind. I never doubted myself or
thought I couldn't do it. I never went through that
emotional phase with either birth. I would just do
what needed to be done.
At some point (before I got in the pool I think) one
of the MW's asked if I would like some counter
pressure on my back. I am not one to ask or feel I
"needed" it but I said yes and it did feel very good.
They took turns doing it during contractions (their
arms were getting tired) and would occasionally
massage my back in between them. It was a nice touch.
I spend much time leaning over the edge of the pool
and moaning through the contractions. Moaning felt
good (and I had spent hours moaning during Xian's
birth) because it helped me to focus and relax. I
would moan "open" or "wow".
After some time I had a contraction where my body
pushed involuntary at the peak. It immediately
brought back memories of Xian's birth. This was the
point in his birth where I started to fight it. I was
scared to push cause I didn't know if I was dilated or
not and had been told that I couldn't push until I was
checked. But not this time. I was very in tune with
my body and not afraid of doing anything it was
telling me to do. I announced that my body was
pushing and that I was bearing down a bit with it as
long as it felt good. The MW's said great, just go
with it. At some point while lightly pushing I could
feel her moving down and at another point my water
broke. I could only slightly feel it and it felt
weird it breaking while I was in the water. The MW
got the flashlight and shone it in the water (it was
daytime but the curtains were closed and the lights
off) to check for meconium. She saw what she thought
was vernix in the water but I questioned that cause I
knew without a doubt that I was 6 days past my EDD and
the baby shouldn't have much vernix if any at all.
Anyway, was it nice to just bear down when my body was
telling me to. I am sure I was not fully dilated at
this point. I don't know how long I had these little
pushy, bearing down contractions but at one point they
just changed. It was all a very gradual transition
from the beginning of labor, to the harder
contractions, to pushy contractions, to this point.
And before I knew it they turned into all out pushing
contractions. The kind that I hate!! That is when
knew I was ready to start pushing all out. Actually I
couldn't NOT have pushed. It was that feeling inside
that took over (like vomiting) and all I could do was
go with it. The MW's knew as well cause they heard me
pushing. I make a very guttural, growling sound while
pushing. And they were full of encouragement saying
"great, great"!!
As with Xian's birth my contractions were fairly
spaced out while pushing. I don't know why, I guess
that is just how my body does it. I tried several
positions sometimes standing between, sometimes
resting. But I spent most of my time pushing on hands
and knees. Now I HATE how it feels to push!! I
remember at one point while I was thinking I was only
making little progress. I hadn't expected to have to
push for very long. I whimpered and the MW said
"don't get discouraged". It wasn't that I was
discouraged, but I just had deja vu of Xian's birth
and wondered how much longer it would take. I didn't
want to have to push 5 hrs again. The MW later told
me that she was silently wondering the same thing when
the baby wasn't out after 20 min. or so. But Piper
was doing great in there. At one point I remember
saying "this baby had better have a big head if it is
taking me this long to push him out" and I also
growled at another time "I hate this!!". Ah, yes . .
. the worst part of labor for me is the pushing. Not
because it is hard work, I can handle that, it is just
the way it feels . . . I hate it. And I think it was
actually worse this time than with Xian (despite it
being much shorter). I have concluded that it may be
because I was in the water and some say it is harder
to push in the water. Next time I may try getting
out to push and getting back in for the actual birth.
During pushes my head was virtually in the water cause
I was on hands and knees and lowering my head with
each push. But the water felt good on my face. A
couple of times I reached in and felt her mushy head
(and told the MW's how far down she was). That was
pretty cool. I was also experiencing some major hip
pain while pushing. The MW said it was probably
because I was in hands and knees for so long but I
didn't think so. It wasn't that kind of pain. It
felt as though my hips were being pulled apart and it
was almost paralyzing at times. But still it was not
overwhelming where I couldn't handle it. The MW's
would occasionally massage my hips between pushing and
that felt nice. I also tried to stretch and stuff
when I could which was easy in the water. I just
straightened out my body (with my hands on the bottom
of the pool) and kind of floated there.
A while after I had started pushing all out the MW's
called everyone in the room since the baby would be
coming soon (or so they thought, it was another ½ hr
or so till she made her appearance). I had my butt
towards them but I didn't care. They were all eating
pizza and watching. Charlie kept leaving to get
more pizza and Kathy (my sis) was getting mad at him
cause she thought he might miss it. My MIL said at
one point too that Xian got a bit upset and started to
leave but she, knowing how much I wanted him there,
enticed him back by offering him some of her Dr.
Pepper. She said he was fine after that.
The MW couldn't see my progress in the pool so she
kept reaching down to see how much of the head she
could feel. But it was annoying cause she was poking
me and missing where the head was. The head was right
there but she couldn't see and I think she wanted some
idea of the progress I was making etc. So she finally
found a mirror and put it in the water with a
flashlight so she could see. Finally as Piper was
crowning they reminded me that I had wanted to catch
and so I got in a squatting position. Her head came ½
way out then stopped and with the next contrax I
pushed her head all the way out. MAN!! Was that ring
of fire intense, much more so than with Xian (which is
interesting considering I ripped much worse with him).
I think Xian's was not so bad because I had had
several internals and hours of perineal massage while
pushing, so I was a bit numb and used to the burn.
But this time it just hit me with great intensity.
And I had thought the water was suppose to help with
that!! I was completely overwhelmed with the burning
and was taken off guard a bit.
I reached down and felt her head. The MW was also
helping feel for a cord but we couldn't feel her neck.
The MW's were a bit concerned cause her face was so
chubby, they thought she was bigger than anticipated.
I was also loosing my footing and kept slipping and
the MW was trying to keep me from landing on her head.
Finally I was not getting another contraction and the
MW's told me to try to push anyway. I did but she
didn't budge. That is when they said "OK, time to get
the baby out". So I, knowing what to do, immediately
went on hands and knees again. When I did I instantly
got another contraction and pushed her shoulders out.
WOW!! again, the burning was so intense that my body
sort of collapsed in the water (one of the MW's almost
fell in too ;-). Or so I thought, looking at the video it seems that both of us didn't come close to falling. I then heard: "keep pushing the feet
are still in there". So one more push and she was
out. I immediately swung my leg over and was in a
sitting position so quick that she was put right in my
arms as she was coming out of the water. (In the weeks and so follwing the birth this part stuck with me. I was very disappointed that I didn't catch and that I gave in to help. I had no worries about her, and she was fine. I regret being rushed).
I was handed this beautiful baby that was covered in
vernix. 9 hrs of active labor and around an hour or
so of pushing (10 hrs all together). Overall much shorter, easier and more
peaceful than Xian's birth. She was born at 1:52 pm.
I held her down in the water and talked to her. The
MW's put a towel around her and helped me rub her
back. She never cried but only whimpered for a
second. She was wide eyed and looking around and you
could see that she was perfectly pink under that
vernix. Very pink for a water baby. She was so quiet
that I asked if she was OK but I don't know why I
asked cause I knew she was. Actually everyone in the
room was quiet. It was so nice. After a few minutes
I asked Charlie if he wanted to see the sex. He was a
bit hesitant about reaching in the water to feel and I
didn't want to lift her out of the water. He did
reach in to feel but couldn't really maneuver his hand
around to the right place. Well I was getting anxious
so I felt around down there and didn't feel anything.
I said "oh my goodness" and I moved the towel and
looked down and said "it's a girl". I think we were
all a bit surprised cause even though I had been
thinking girl more this time than when I was pg with
Xian, and Xian kept insisting it was a "girl baby", I
still would have guessed boy. Xian was "wide eyed"
just looking at his new sister and he has loved her
ever since.
After about 10-15 min I felt an urge to push and the
MW said to go ahead and deliver the placenta in the
pool if I wanted. My body pushed twice and both times
blood gushed out. So now the pool was filled with
blood so we decided to get out and go to the bed
(which was only like 3 ft away). Boy, was that
interesting, trying to maneuver out of the pool (with
baby still attached) and onto the bed. As I laid on
the edge of the bed one of the MW's started pulling at
my shirt saying the baby was rooting and wanted to
nurse. And sure enough as soon as I lifted my shirt
Piper latched right on and started nursing. She was
20 min. old at this point.
I had several uncomfortable cramps and I could feel
the placenta just sitting in there and I did not like
it. I was ready to get it out. I pushed several
times with no luck. Then finally about 30 min. or so
after the birth it came out, to my relief!! After
that the MW's checked for tears and stuff. I had a
1st. degree (thank goodness that was all). And I had
said that I wanted no stitches if I had 1st or 2nd
degree tears. An hour after she was born I decided it
was time to cut the cord. Piper was still nursing,
only on the other side now. The MW tied it off with
cord tape (which is like sterile string) and Charlie
cut it. I then handed Piper to Charlie for the first
time so he could hold her. She was sleeping. We then
let family take turns holding her and getting to know
her. Meanwhile I got cleaned up, dressed, went to the
bathroom etc. It was weird to be walking so soon
after birth (even if I was a bit hunched over :-) I
couldn't walk for a day or 2 after Xian's birth.
I wanted to wait till after my sisters arrived from GA
to do the newborn exam. I figured they would enjoy
seeing that since they missed the birth. So after
they arrived and I had cleaned up and everyone had had
a chance to hold and meet Piper, we did the exam. She
weighed 8lb 2oz (a bit smaller than everyone thought)
and she was 21" long. 14" head and chest. But still
. . . the same size as Xian's head. I guess I was
just looking for a reason it took me so long to push
her out (it being my second baby and all) and I was
hoping that it was because she had a big head or
something . . . oh well.
Piper has been nursing like a champ and growing like a
weed. Xian has been absolutely wonderful with his
sister and more than willing to share "nuk" (what he
calls nursing) with her. He has grow up so much these
past few weeks. Piper is not an "easy" baby but not
too hard either. She just likes to be held lots and
lets you know what she wants right away. There is no
in-between for her, either she is content or screaming
for something ;-) But knowing how she was inside
(very feisty little one in there) I kind of figured
that is how she would be :-)
This birth experience just reaffirms everything I have
ever thought (and told others) about childbirth: That
it is a beautiful process perfectly designed by God.
That our bodies were made to do this. That we don't
need people interfering, telling us what to do, doing
internals every 10 minutes and instructing us on when
and how to push. That if allowed to progress
naturally our bodies and our instincts will guide us
through it and that is how it was always suppose to
be. That for a normal healthy pregnant woman,
problems during childbirth are rare and even still,
many of those "problems" will resolve themselves on
their own if left alone. And for that rare instance
that something does go terrible wrong . . . well then
thank God for transports and Dr's and hospitals cause
that would be the ONLY time in childbirth that they
would be needed.
This whole experience was amazing. I still can't
believe she was born at home. I thank God for
allowing me to experience the power of natural
childbirth twice and I thank Him for allowing me to
have the successful homebirth I wanted and so needed
this time. Xian's birth, though long and hard ending
up in the hospital, gave me strength and built my
faith in myself and birth. I had managed to stand up
for myself and prevent many interventions. Through
the disappointment of ending up with a hospital birth
I was able to see more than ever how many hospitals
and staff undermine the birthing woman and have such a
lack of faith in birth. Experiencing Piper's birth,
how it progressed and how the body labors without
interference, was amazing and gave me even less
tolerance for those birth shows on TV (if that is even
possible). Pipers birth reaffirmed why I believe in
homebirth so strongly (though I had never considered
anything else from the moment I was first pregnant).
With her birth brought the healing I so wanted and
empowered me as a woman who can finally say "Yes, I
had my baby in the peace and quiet of my own home, and
it was gentle and beautiful!!"
